Wednesday, January 5, 2011

All is not lost...

"I have run. I have crawled. I have scaled these city walls. Only to be with you..." - U2.
I arrived on time with my suitcases, holding everything that I packed.  
Miracles happen. 
Almost as a paradox to my successful solo traveling, I thought about my ex-husband for 
most of my flight.  This surprised me more than the fact that I didn't lose anything. 
It's been a long time.  
He lives in the exact opposite direction from Asia.  We never went there together. 
So, why would he be in my heart?  
I think it has to do with the way we took off from Vancouver.  
The flight was delayed because the "release" mechanism to push the plane off was broken.
So we had to wait at the gate for them to repair it before we could be released to go.  
The natural speaks of the spiritual, sometimes.  I have been in such a long waiting and 
needing-repair season. 
My heart has been broken, wounded and full of rejection. 
But once it was put right, we were flying.  
I felt that release in my spirit.  
There is something about this trip that speaks of my healing. 
"You carried the cross.  You took the shame. You took the blame. You know, I believe it."  
It feels extremely good to be back in Asia.  
I'd forgotten how deeply I love the beauty and chaos of the other side of the Pacific. 
I spent my first day in Bangkok trying to find my way to a good friend, an old roommate 
who is here for the next two days.   
I was lost for almost three hours, looking for her.  It is really something else to be lost in a new city. 
Asia is a continent of nations with no traffic rules, no street signs, and no numbers on the 
My Dad and I were once lost in Baggio City, Philippines, during a typhoon.  We nearly died. 
Our driver would drive in one direction. stop. drive on a little bit. stop. and then turn to us and say: 
"We are very close, let's go back to the beginning".  
It was extremely funny and extremely frustrating. 
So, I found myself doing what Philippino drivers do in a typhoon: getting close and then 
going back to the beginning.  
I'd get so far and then turn around and go back, just to make sure I wasn't totally off track.
Somehow, miraculously... it worked. I am no longer lost. I found her hotel.  
She was never really all that far away. 

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